Friday, February 29, 2008 7:51 pm
Says here that Madonna is using testosterone cream as a kind of anti-aging agent but that it has given her chest hair … to which White House-plagiarism-exposing ex-journo and all-around cool blogger Nancy Nall says, “I’m sure that goes really well with her [penis].” (Darn this PG rating I keep imposing on myself. Or was it PG-13? Anyway.)
Thursday, February 28, 2008 8:59 am
Seven years ago today he came calmly into the world with his thumb in his mouth (just where we’d seen it during an ultrasound a couple of weeks prior) and his eyes on pretty much everything.
Happy birthday, Hooper. We love you.
(We’re having a family birthday dinner. He gets to choose, and he’s torn between McDonald’s and Burger King.)
Wednesday, February 27, 2008 7:16 am
Top 10 Reasons Why Sex at the Speed of Light Is Not an Advisable Form of Procreation:
7. Relativistic flaming semen:
In the unlikely event that a vaporised penis can perform ejaculation, then the relativistic semen will create enormous air resistance, burst into flames almost instantaneously, and generate enormous impact forces. These forces will be sufficient to pierce a small hole straight through a woman’s lower torso, just like a speeding bullet, only incinerating the surrounding tissue as it passes through.
Y’all be careful out there.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008 7:07 pm
“Hooper, you little miscreant! Daddy, he’s tailing me!”
Gerald says the Panthers have gotten WR Muhsin Muhammad back from the Bears. Interesting if true. It may yet be true, but I doubt it’s true yet: The free-agent signing period doesn’t start ’til Friday.
If true, what would it mean? Looking past the nostalgia, it’s tempting to think that Muhammad is on the down side of his career. His numbers during his past three seasons in Chicago:
2005: 64 catches, 750 yards, 11.7 ypc, 4 TDs
2006: 60 catches, 863 yards, 14.4 ypc, 5 TDs
2007: 40 catches, 570 yards, 14.3 ypc, 3 TDs
Only the yards-per-catch numbers are really respectable. That said, Chicago’s offense wasn’t exactly pass-happy.
But if his skills haven’t atrophied too much he might still be the kind of big possession receiver who could take some of the heat off Steve Smith. The team still needs another true deep threat, of course.
UPDATE: It’s a done deal, and unsurprisingly, David Carr has been cut. A good move.
Monday, February 25, 2008 8:15 pm
The New York Times on the Wildcats, here.
I’m kind of a pessimist by nature, so the more I’ve thought about the ‘Cats’ chances the past few days, the more I think it’s this year or never for them. Why? A point guard who can lead the nation in assists won’t come along again at Davidson in my children’s lifetimes, and at this point in the season that might matter more than Stephen Curry — that’s what will save the team, if anything does, when Curry is out or hampered.
I’m with the Times: The ‘Cats will have to win the SoCon tourney to go to the dance. Life’s not fair, but that’s how things are. So that’s what I’m hoping for. That, and something at least a little better than a 16 seed.
Sunday, February 24, 2008 12:17 pm
The biggest virtue of Hooper’s Pinewood Derby car was that, as much as possible, it was his work, not mine. Which meant a flat and irregular paint job and nowhere near the weight it needed to be competitive, among other things.
But when we took it in on Friday night for registration and impound, one of the other parents, a guy named Robert Jacke, took pity on us and within 20 minutes had assembled the weights, epoxy and metallic tape needed to bump the car up as close to the maximum 5 ounces as possible — if you want to call 4.9955 ounces close. I do.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get to watch the race Saturday, having had to take V. to the doctor. (Strep and another ear infection.) But apparently he took 2nd place in his den.
So, thanks very much Mr. Jacke, for the last-minute help. It made Hooper’s experience a lot more enjoyable.
Offspring — Want You Bad
Joan Jett — I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll
Connells — Gauntlet
Led Zeppelin — When the Levee Breaks
Bob Dylan — You’re a Big Girl Now
Graham Parker — Strong Winds
Paul Simon — Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes
Clash — Clampdown
The Drapels — Young Man
Everclear — Heartspark Dollarsign
lagniappe: Lou Reed — Strawman
Thursday, February 21, 2008 7:07 pm
I do not come to my blog this week with clean hands.
Literally. On Monday, I got greased up good when I had to change a tire. Today, there was an unfortunate ballpoint-pen-related incident. In both cases, getting my hands completely clean was, well, problematic.
So please use a tissue when you adjust your monitor. That is all.
UPDATE: Getting soot on my hands from trying to close the chimney damper is not helping my frame of mind on this subject.
Friday, February 15, 2008 7:29 pm
Victoria, being a North Carolina public-school fourth-grader, has a state writing test coming up in a couple of weeks. She generally doesn’t sweat testing of any sort too much, even when, as now, teachers are making a big deal about it. And this became clear when she brought home the results of a recent practice test.
The tests are graded 1 to 4 by two different readers, 4 being highest. Victoria’s test was, if I recall correctly, to write about a real or fictional journey. She wrote a story about a magic ring that let her travel to any three places she wanted to go. I forget where one of the places was, but the other two were backstage with Miley Cyrus and in a soccer game with Mia Hamm. One reader gave her a 4. The other gave her only a 3 and said she should have explained more fully who Cyrus and Ham were.
I thought V. might be a little down about that. Instead, she said something like, “Has this person never heard of CONTEXT CLUES? Hel-LO! Backstage? Performer? Hel-LO! Soccer field? Soccer game? Soccer PLAYER? Hel-LO! CONTEXT CLUES! Hel-LO!”
I’d say it’s game on.
I get my water without lemon in restaurants, just because I don’t like the taste. Turns out, however, that there’s another reason to go lemon-free.
Thursday, February 14, 2008 7:16 am
In a perfect world, I’d have been able to go see Davidson play UNCG here last night, perhaps bringing the kids. In the world we live in, we went to a Lenten church service, then went home to put the finishing touches on the kids’ Valentine for Mommy.
Pity. We missed a game for the ages, it seems. Down 60-43 in the second half, the Wildcats rode Stephen Curry to come back and win by 5.
UNCG’s middle-of-the-pack SoCon standing is misleading; the Spartans have more talent, and are more dangerous, than their record indicates. The Wildcats easily could have lost (and could do so when the Spartans visit Belk), and I would not have been surprised if they had. That said, if Davidson’s post-season hopes are to be anywhere close to realized, this was the kind of game in which the ‘Cats had to dominate.
Two observations: First, without Stephen Curry, the ‘Cats become not just ordinary but vulnerable. Teams that are going anywhere in the postseason can’t be that one-dimensional; one bad half and your season’s over. Second, with him, they can play with anyone in the country, as we saw vs. UNC and Duke, among others. Whether they can close the kind of deal they’ll have to close in the postseason remains an open question, but Wednesday night’s result keeps hope alive.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008 12:16 pm
Yeah, that’s right — billion, with a B. I didn’t just tour the mansion, I moved in with all my stuff, turned up the music and had Lurch start bringing me drinks.
The regular score display turns over to zero after you pass a billion. But as you can see, the game knows, and attention is paid.
I didn’t keep track of how long the game took. I’m guessing between 30 and 40 minutes.
Monday, February 11, 2008 8:11 pm
I wrote here about the performing-arts magnet school in DeKalb County, Ga., that is named after my great-grandfather, the first Hooper Alexander. Today I got a call from a woman down there who said the school board is discussing whether to replace that facility with a performing-arts complex.
During Sunday school yesterday, the elementary kids made Valentines for shut-ins and then were given addresses to which to deliver them. So Victoria and her friend Abby made the Valentines and then we drove over to a local retirement home to deliver them.
Victoria’s reaction afterward: “This made me feel really good. I’m going to keep the addresses so we can take them something for St. Patrick’s Day.”
Saturday, February 9, 2008 7:55 pm
There’s a reason why the Pinewood Derby instructions say to have a grownup do the cutting-out part: It’s dangerous.
Even for grownups, in my case.
Friday, February 8, 2008 8:53 pm
I’ll spare you the gory technical details, but after many, many months without a functional “Addams Family” pinball game on my computer, I now have gotten it to work again. I am a happy camper.
Thursday, February 7, 2008 7:36 am
The death toll and list of damages from this week’s southeastern tornadoes continues to rise. Monkeyfister has info as well as some links you can follow if you’re inclined to help.
Sunday, February 3, 2008 2:11 pm
Hooper: There’s [name of his school]!
Victoria: No, buddy, that’s [name of high school]. And over there is [name of middle school they will attend].
Hooper: I’m worried about going to [name of middle school].
Victoria: Don’t worry, buddy. I’ll tell you everything about it. EV-erything.
Friday, February 1, 2008 7:36 pm
Bodeans — Someday
Offspring — Smash
Black Crowes — Hard to Handle
Vince Guaraldi — Linus and Lucy
Neil Young — Eldorado
Pearl Jam — Rats
Southside Johnny & the Asbury Jukes — Soul’s On Fire (intro only; don’t ask me why)
Big Star — The India Song
R.E.M. — Toys in the Attic
Offspring — Bad Habit
lagniappe: Lou Reed — Strawman