Blog on the Run: Reloaded

Wednesday, October 19, 2011 10:14 pm

Why anti-government conservatives should be parachuted into more business-friendly environments


Apparently, Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren has said some things that have hurt the fee-fees of our Galtian overlords. Fred sent me the following, which he says he saw on some board dedicated to Stanford football. (Uh, OK, whatever.) The writer purports to be responding to this video of Elizabeth Warren as he wahrgarblz:

“You built a factory out there? Good for you,” – “Built a factory” is a summary for a lot of work. Put up equity, designed a business, took risk to buy land, get permits, pay property taxes and use taxes and permit fees. Then, bought a bunch of equipment and had it installed …and paid sales taxes. Hired some employees and paid them a bunch of money and paid payroll taxes on top of that. Bought a bunch of raw materials from companies that paid a bunch of salaries and a bunch of taxes. Building a factory is a huge private investment that pays the public a lot of taxes for the right to be built.

“But I want to be clear: you moved your goods to market on the roads the rest of us paid for.” – Between fuel taxes, license fees, tolls and various taxes on transportation related activities, the roads budget is smaller than the total tax take.

“You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate.” No, you did not educate them. You babysat them for 12 years. Then I hired them, taught them how to be responsible and show up for work, taught them how to communicate in clear sentences, taught them that there are rights and wrongs and (unlike with your schools) wrongs have consequences in the workplace. Then paid for extended education for my employees so they could continue to improve themselves and better add value to what we do around here.

“You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for.” Funny, my factory has 24/7 security guards because the last time it was broken into, the police did not even bother to take a report, they just said “call your insurance company”. As for fire? The closest fire department is 10 miles away. My insurance company requires that I have a full wet sprinkler system to qualify for insurance because there is no local fire protection.

“You didn’t have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory, and hire someone to protect against this, because of the work the rest of us did.” Well, that is not exactly true. When the AFL-CIO tried to unionize my workforce, they staged three days of noisy protests outside my factory. The police forces just stood around and watched as the protesters intimidated my workers, vandalized their cars and destroyed my property.

You say “we” like the government and society are the same. They aren’t. My company and my community and you politicians are not “we”.

One could use many adjectives to describe this outlook. “Rational” is not one of them. “Contextual” is not one of them. “American” is not one of them. Given the likelihood, in this day and age of video cameras in every phone, that AFL-CIO protesters destroyed your property in plain view while uniformed police officers stood by and watched, I’m pretty sure “factual” isn’t even one of them.

Indeed, one could I’M SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU MY BULLSHIT DETECTOR IS GOING OFF TOO LOUDLY.

Wait. You know what? I’m over being civil to idiots.

Memo to this shit-for-brains Galtian overlord:

You’re so talented? You’re so smart? You’re so independent of everything your fellow Americans have worked and sweated for that you’ll be just fine without it?

OK. Let’s test that hypothesis.

This’ll be the best “Dude, What Would Happen?” episode ever. (My 10-year-old loves that show. Sorry.)

Here’s what we’re going to do.

We’re going to parachute your ass into the wilds of north-central Alaska or a free-fire zone in Uganda or a raft off the coast of Somalia. Just to be fair, we’ll parachute your money in, too, all in gold, of course, since U.S. currency would be too declassé.

We’ll let you keep all the education and experience you’ve ever gotten. And all the friends and contacts you’ve ever made.

We’ll let you keep the lowest corporate tax rate in 60 years. Hell, we’ll set the tax rate to zero. And we’ll let your corporation keep its share of the $2 trillion in cash U.S. corporations are sitting on when unemployment is better than 9%. Because, after all, what’s yours is yours, right?

All we ask in return is one thing:

Create some jobs.

That’s all.

Granted, for the entire 10-year period from 2001 through 2010 that was too goddamn much for you to be bothered with. But I’m going to assume that, oh, I don’t know, maybe you just weren’t trying. Maybe it was all that uncertainty about the horrific cost of government regulations or something. Whatever; we’ll give you a mulligan on that. And, as I said, we’ll let you keep all your stuff.

But here’s what we won’t let you keep.

The U.S. military, which keeps you reliably supplied with cheap energy.

The subsidies for whatever it is you do — and, honestly, it doesn’t matter what you do because at the moment, federal, state and local governments are subsidizing everything from ethanol to NFL franchises.

The Internet, which was built by the taxpayers when I was 9, belonged to them until I was in my late 30s and should never have been put in private hands at all.

The roads, including the Interstate Highway System, that are paid for by people whose gasoline tax payments constitute one HELL of a lot bigger share of their income than yours, not to mention, in many cases, bonds that drivers and non-drivers alike pay for. (Fun fact: Pedestrians and private 4-wheel vehicles a disproportionately high share of the costs connected with road maintenance; 18-wheelers, many of which routinely travel over weight limits, pay a disproportionately LOW share of the costs.)

Or the government mechanisms that make the insurance companies whose cost you complain about so much possible in the first place.

Or the water lines that make your pretty sprinklers work.

Or the police departments that might or might not have allowed AFL-CIO thugs to damage your workers’ cars and destroy your property — I think you’re pulling this one out of your ass, although we’ll let that go — but which damn well do keep the very walls of your plant from being carted off and sold for scrap and the women who work for you from being raped and mutilated right there on the assembly line by the Lord’s Resistance Army or whatever the hell terrorist group Rush Limbaugh thinks he can suck up to conservative Christian listeners by fellating on the air this week.

Or the current state of education of the work force. Because if you like this, you’ll love a work force consisting mainly of 9-year-olds pointing AK-47s at your head. (And just so you know, teaching people how to communicate in clear sentences, which, on the basis of 35 years in the business world, I can confidently conclude you have not done because the sheer incidence of such effective education in the business world is vanishingly small, means that you also have to teach them the difference between reality and fantasy. Keep that in mind next time. Moreover, given how much personal offense you have taken at Warren’s remarks, you probably should Google “synecdoche,” although because I’m repaying you in kind, I’ll let it go. That said, the period goes inside the close-quotation marks.)

That’s the deal. It’s what you asked for, so you pretty much have to take it, now, don’t you?

Strap on the chute and get on the plane, big guy. I’ll be happy to be the jumpmaster who puts a boot up your ass as you and your bullion exit over the drop zone.

And then?

Start creating jobs.

Go on.

We’ll wait.

14 Comments »

  1. Lets extract all the horse squeeze out of that bravado rant and the ridiculous scenarios therein, and it falls back to this woman’s ploitical values and philosophy which aren’t in line with the founders. Not even close !

    If Whitey Bulger where Warren’s opponent the choice would be a no brainer ( Oh yeah it would be Whitey )

    Cutting through Warrem’s Socialist blather

    “While everything she said sounds “logically” true, the reality is that her viewpoint totally ignores the fact that “if” we didn’t have the superior wealth creators that we have in this country, there would be no massive tax base and the taxable jobs to build the roads or to build the schools and pay for the teachers to educate the people. When she talks of the “rest of us” who “paid for” the “roads”, who the hell is she really talking about? The 50% of this country who pays zero taxes; yet, still gets to use those roads? Obviously she’s ignoring the fact that the “rich” pay 70% of all the taxes in this country.

    She’s playing a game of flawed chicken-and-egg political nonsense that sounds more like something a communist would have said in the former bankrupt society of the U.S.S.R. A society that, too, had teachers, police, fireman, and roads but never achieved the economic status that this country has. No wonder Obama originally hired her! ”

    Although Whitey has never held elected office neither has Warren. But Bulger has street smarts learned the hard way in Southie and knows how too keep things under control and deal with incompetent dissidents. He has worked closely with the FBI in the past..Bonus Points.

    Back to the Liz or as those that know her best ” Crackpot Bat ”

    Elizabet Warren-Self Proclaimed Socialist

    “SHE MUST ABHOR THE CONSTITUTION.

    WHY? SIMPLE:

    THE CONSTITUTION SPECIFICALLY SAYS THAT THE GOVERNMENT IS LIMITED TO THE SPECIFIC POWERS ENUMERATED AND THAT THESE POWERS DERIVE FROM THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SOVEREIGN.
    Amendment 9 – Construction of Constitution.

    The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
    Amendment 10 – Powers of the States and People.

    The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
    SHE AND OTHER STATISTS FEEL THAT THE GOVERNMENT HAS PRIOR DIBS ON EVERYTHING EACH PERSON MAKES OR PRODUCES BECAUSE THE STATE MADE THE ROADS, ETC.

    THIS IS FASCISM, PURE AND SIMPLE, AND HAS MORE IN COMMON WITH MUSSOLINI AND HITLER THAN WASHINGTON OR MADISON.

    SHE SHOULD NOT ONLY BE DEFEATED IN HER SENATE BID; SHE SHOULD BE TARRED AND FEATHERED AND RUN OUT OF TOWN!”

    Comment by Fred Gregory — Wednesday, October 19, 2011 11:07 pm @ 11:07 pm | Reply

  2. Not tonight, Fred. Bank of America is about to take a $53 TRILLION crap on our heads, so this is not the night to be tossing the word “socialist” around like it’s a pejorative. In fact, right this minute, socialist is looking pretty damn good.

    Comment by Lex — Thursday, October 20, 2011 12:16 am @ 12:16 am | Reply

  3. Priceless. And the gravy is that you and Fred are neighbors and adore each other.

    Comment by Fec — Thursday, October 20, 2011 10:19 pm @ 10:19 pm | Reply

  4. [...] Posted on October 20, 2011 by Fec Lex Alexander offers ample proof that he is not only the greatest writer in our midst, but also an incredibly tolerant neighbor: We’re going to parachute your ass into the wilds of [...]

    Pingback by Love Thy Neighbor « Vie de Malchance: Part Deux — Thursday, October 20, 2011 10:25 pm @ 10:25 pm | Reply

  5. Well, I moved a few months ago. But yeah. As I’ve told him, I often think of us like Sam and Ralph, the wolf and sheepdog in the old Warner Bros. cartoons. (Which of us is which varies, depending on subject, date and how much either of us has had to drink.)

    Comment by Lex — Thursday, October 20, 2011 10:28 pm @ 10:28 pm | Reply

  6. Leave us alone Jeff.. Capish !

    Comment by Fred Gregory — Friday, October 21, 2011 12:00 am @ 12:00 am | Reply

  7. Now back to America’s bidness:

    Have we met ?

    ” I started this blog in part because I was tired of biting my tongue in polite company. Leftists have no such compunction. The Dem Senate candidate from Massachusetts who has all the answers: Aside from the questionable numbers (gee, are we to blame Bush for today?) what about the tone, in a gathering in someone’s home. Clearly the individual who built the factory is public enemy number one in the neighborhood. It’s as Peter Schiff noted in his testimony to Congress the other day–if you create jobs you’re treated like a criminal.

    One of her former Harvard Law school students comments:

    ‘There are so many things wrong with Warren’s statement that I really don’t know where to begin. Tonestaple sent me an email that certainly gets the tone right (which led to my post’s title):

    They [meaning the middle class Leftists who applaud the above statement] seem to think it is the ne plus ultra of common sense. I think it sounds like a gangster saying, “Nice factory you’ve got here – be a shame if anything happened to it.”
    As my interlineation about Gibson Guitar shows, Tonestaple perfectly nailed the reality behind Warren’s cutesy, nursery school-esque, “God blessy” statement that everybody should share with everybody else.” The reality is that, in Obama world, if you don’t make nice with the government, the government is not going to make nice with you. (The cutesy tone, incidentally, is classic Warren. She was one of my law school profs, and I found her invariably sweet in word, unintelligible in substance, and vaguely vicious in action.)”

    Have we met, Elizabeth?

    People came to this country for freedom. If they didn’t have roads they used God-given rivers, and built them as they could. It was We the People then, and it’s we the people now.

    I don’t believe I know you but I’ve met you every day. Nor do you know me.

    Americans built this country with human capital. That’s why we have some left over, for the government, if it’s a good one.

    And if you don’t value human capital and the power of ideas to create wealth and jobs, then I suggest your education was wasted.”

    Comment by Fred Gregory — Friday, October 21, 2011 12:29 am @ 12:29 am | Reply

  8. Oh, and this from a guy that was almost aborted:

    Truth To Power

    Comment by Fred Gregory — Friday, October 21, 2011 1:01 am @ 1:01 am | Reply

  9. If you ever doubt the existence of Eternity, just ponder the capability of conservatives to cast themselves as victims.

    Comment by Lex — Friday, October 21, 2011 8:12 am @ 8:12 am | Reply

  10. Socialism looking good ? Er, okay.

    Capitalism and Morality

    “There’s no need to defend capitalism, although, unfortunately, there seems to be a need to remind Americans why capitalism is moral. It’s the economic system that respects individuals and individual rights. It’s the economic system that’s pro-consumer and makes it possible for goods and services to be affordable to people at even the lowest income levels. It’s the economic system that generates the most wealth and improves the standard of living for all citizens. Socialism is none of those things. ”

    (Comment edited 10/22/11 by site owner at commenter’s request to delete extraneous material.)

    Comment by Fred Gregory — Saturday, October 22, 2011 2:30 am @ 2:30 am | Reply

  11. I am perfectly willing to defend capitalism — indeed, I see it as a moral imperative — as long as that capitalism is not unfettered, by which I mean not privatizing gains and socializing risks and costs, which is exactly what’s going on today. Adam Smith himself warned against this. But if I had to choose at least temporarily between socialism and letting Bank of America take a $53 trillion, with a T, dump on U.S. taxpayers’ heads — a prospect that appears not only NOT hypothetical but damn near inevitable at this point absent FDIC action — I would choose socialism, at least in the short term. And if you care about your federal retirement benefits, so would you.

    Comment by Lex — Saturday, October 22, 2011 11:43 am @ 11:43 am | Reply

  12. I think it’s cute how you edit Fred’s comments for him.

    Comment by Fec — Saturday, October 22, 2011 8:50 pm @ 8:50 pm | Reply

  13. I’d do the same for you. Free WP, so far as I can tell, does not allow commenters to edit their comments once they are posted, and this is a bit of a nuisance because it doesn’t offer a preview function, either. So I frequently go in at a commenter’s request to delete extraneous crap, close open tags and so on. I figure it’s just part and parcel of being a good proprietor. God knows I’ve gone back in and closed a few open tags or inserted missing spaces between words in my own comments from time to time. (More substantive changes I publicly identify, in the interest of transparency.)

    Comment by Lex — Saturday, October 22, 2011 8:55 pm @ 8:55 pm | Reply


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