I know just how he feels

Hooper (earlier this evening): “I’m ready to go to bed, Daddy. I haven’t gotten a wink of sleep the whole day.”

Of Fusion, Buttercups and Panthers

Fusion: Won 8-1. Minute to minute the game never seemed like a runaway, but that’s what it ended up being. Hooper didn’t score and spent one uneventful quarter in goal.

Buttercups: Lost 3-0. The team lacked energy and quickness, and it didn’t possess the ball much as a result.

Panthers: Lost 20-10 and stunk up the joint in the process. I was doing yard work and didn’t see the game; just as well.

Fusion 2, Arsenal 2

After last weekend’s rainout, Hooper’s team played its first game today. The Arsenal controlled the ball more and better, but the Fusion hung in there. Hooper hasn’t played soccer as long as most of his teammates, and he’s still learning the mental aspects of the game, but he at least was trying to pass in the right places.

Hanna 1, Fusion 0

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.

Escaping with most brain cells still intact

Hooper and I saw The Wiggles earlier today. A couple of my worst fears went unrealized. For one thing, although the show was held in the 20,000+-seat Greensboro Coliseum, the configuration was half-house and I’m guessing the crowd was 4,000, tops. For another, the set was over in a neat 75 minutes. Sops for the adults were sadly lacking. The closest they came was prior to “Play Your Guitar with Murray,” when the aforenamed Wiggle “warmed up” by playing a brief intro to “Stairway to Heaven.” One of the other Wiggles punctuated that with, “Did somebody say ‘Freebird’?”

My favorite part was before the show, however:

Hooper’s friend B: They don’t look like they do on TV.

Hooper: They don’t?

Hooper’s friend B: No, they’re all winkly.

Return of the Fusion

Remember the Fusion, Hooper’s soccer team when he was a 4-year-old? It’s back.

Hooper decided after his first season that he didn’t really like soccer very much, so since then it has been his big sister’s thing. But this summer, he decided he wanted to play again, so we signed him up and lo and behold, he got put on the same team he was on three years ago. Only two of the five who were on the team with him back then are still there, but one of them is his best friend from that team. Their first practice was yesterday, and he did well and said afterward that it was a lot of fun. I met both coaches, and they seem like really good guys.

Their first game, as is Victoria’s, is 9/7 9/6.

An appreciation for the finer things in life

Hooper: Daddy, do they still use a ball to break things?

Daddy: I don’t understand your question, buddy.

Hooper: You know. The metal ball that hangs from the crane?

Daddy: Oh, yeah! Yeah, they still use those sometimes. But sometimes they do something different. They use dynamite. They can set the dynamite in a special way so that when the building blows up, instead of pieces going all over the place, they all fall into one neat pile.

Hooper: Sweet.

Well, um, yeah; your point being?

(as the curtain opens, we join a battle of wills between father and son that has been going on for 30 minutes already)

Daddy: Spell “list.”

Hooper: No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Daddy, I just want to go ride my two-wheeler in the cul-de-sac!

Daddy: We’re going to sit right here at this table until you have spelled your spelling words. Spell “list.”

Hooper: No!

Daddy: Spell “list.”

Hooper: You are. Such. A. Downloader.

Daddy: A what?

Hooper: A downloader! You know, somebody who does too much!

(the father prevails after about another 15 minutes, but we’ll spare you that)

* * *

On a lighter note, Victoria got the new Jonas Brothers CD tonight. All is right with her world.

And because Mommy took Victoria to see the Jonas Brothers last month, Daddy gets to take Hooper to see The Wiggles. This is not quite one of those gnaw-off-your-own-arm-to-escape deals, but, geez, it ain’t good. And they’re performing in the Greensboro Coliseum, which, last I checked, is a 23,000-seat arena, give or take. Assuming somewhere between 30 and 50 percent of attendees to be parents/guardians/babysitters, we’re still talking about more than 10,000 screaming kids in one room.  I’m just gonna go ahead and get my doctor to prescribe me something for a migraine now so I can beat the rush.

I believe the lawyers call this “arguing in the alternative” …

Victoria: Hooper, get your stuff out of my room!

Hooper: Stay out of your business!

Victoria: What’s in my room is my business!

Hooper: Well, stay out of my business, then!

I guess he had a good day

Daddy: Hey, Hooper — did you have a good day?

Hooper: What do you think I am, some kind of FREAK who didn’t have a good day?

Grasp on reality: tenuous

Hooper: I didn’t throw the hula hoops in the trees!

Victoria: Oh, right. And Spongebob Squarepants is real.

Hooper (stunned): Spongebob is real?

Not-so-simple question, or, Who knew they taught epistemology in first grade?

“Daddy, what does ‘meaning’ mean?”

Uncle Snoop would be spinning his grave, if he had one yet

At Saturday’s Duke-Maryland women’s game:

Hooper: Daddy, I see the blue team’s mascot!

Me: Yeah, buddy. Do you know what kind of mascot it is?

Hooper (uncertainly): An elf?

Happy Birthday, buddy!

Seven years ago today he came calmly into the world with his thumb in his mouth (just where we’d seen it during an ultrasound a couple of weeks prior) and his eyes on pretty much everything.

Happy birthday, Hooper. We love you.

(We’re having a family birthday dinner. He gets to choose, and he’s torn between McDonald’s and Burger King.)

Hot-rod Hooper

The biggest virtue of Hooper’s Pinewood Derby car was that, as much as possible, it was his work, not mine. Which meant a flat and irregular paint job and nowhere near the weight it needed to be competitive, among other things.

But when we took it in on Friday night for registration and impound, one of the other parents, a guy named Robert Jacke, took pity on us and within 20 minutes had assembled the weights, epoxy and metallic tape needed to bump the car up as close to the maximum 5 ounces as possible — if you want to call 4.9955 ounces close. I do.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to watch the race Saturday, having had to take V. to the doctor. (Strep and another ear infection.) But apparently he took 2nd place in his den.

So, thanks very much Mr. Jacke, for the last-minute help. It made Hooper’s experience a lot more enjoyable.