What with Cinco de Mayo coming up (a/k/a Amateur Night for gringos), if anyone offers you a choice between a bottle of Sol beer and a bottle of horse pee, take the horse pee. And then hit the guy in the head with the Sol bottle. The horse pee has substantially more character than the beer.
Saturday, April 28, 2012 12:02 am
Thursday, February 23, 2012 7:42 pm
Tuesday, February 8, 2011 8:51 pm
Tom Scocca gets at something I’d sort of sensed but hadn’t really grasped. Maybe it’s because my parents didn’t make a big deal either way about drinking when I was kid. Maybe it’s because, with the legal drinking age then 18, I could get beer pretty much anytime I wanted it from about 15 on, and its very accessibility rendered its acquisition somewhat less urgent. Ida know. But as a quasi-responsible parent, damn, am I annoyed I didn’t grok this faster:
What are beer commercials about? The two central premises are these:
1. Beer—cheap, common, domestic beer—is a rare commodity that drives men mad with the desire to have it, at any cost.
2. Women are the great obstacle between men and the fulfillment of this desire.
Taken literally, this is baffling. Beer is cheap and easy to find. The only cost should be $6.99 for a six pack, at any convenience store. And rather than hiding from women to drink their beer, many single adult heterosexual men seek out female company when they’re drinking. “Drink our beer and avoid contact with women!”—who could possibly be the target for that pitch?
But it makes perfect sense if the target audience is—and it is—16-year-olds.
The girls aren’t really girls; they’re Mom. And Mom is the first hurdle in the thrilling obstacle course that makes up the world of the teenage beer drinker.
Geez. It’s the tobacco companies all over again. On the bright side, far fewer than one in three people who drink beer are going to die prematurely by using the product as intended, and secondhand beer, although certainly toxic (not to mention odoriferous), is more easily avoided and almost never lethal.
Saturday, January 29, 2011 4:49 pm
And they say appointment television is dead. 8 p.m. ET tomorrow, y’all.
Friday, July 23, 2010 8:44 pm
Tuesday, June 29, 2010 8:06 pm
They can protect us from Teh Skunk:
Rhonda Dannenberg, a suburban mother of three, stuck her nose in six glasses of beer at the MillerCoors brewery here and swished a bit of each in her mouth. Then she delivered the kind of frank verdict that’s shaking up the mens-club world of beer tasting.
“I got a strong bruised fruit,” Ms. Dannenberg, 36 years old, said of one of the Miller Lite batches, drawing a few nods from the three other women and two men at the table. “Slight cardboard taste. Oxidized. Unacceptable.”
At many companies, the assembled panelists would have been men, typically brew masters and other technical types. And it makes sense. To judge from TV commercials, men like beer better than women do and sometimes even seem to like beer more than they like women.
But the British company SABMiller PLC decided several years ago to reach deeper into its employee pool to find adept tasters, inviting marketers, secretaries and others to try their hand. The company concluded that women were drinking men under the table.
“We have found that females often are more sensitive about the levels of flavor in beer,” says Barry Axcell, SABMiller’s chief brewer. Women trained as tasters outshine their male counterparts, he says.
If practice makes perfect, men should have the clear edge in beer tasting, since they account for 72.8% of the world’s beer sales, according to market-research firm Datamonitor Group. But SABMiller, which makes Pilsner Urquell, Peroni and Grolsch in addition to Miller and Coors brands, says its empirical evidence shows that females are the superior sex when it comes to detecting such undesirable chemicals as 3-methyl-2-butene-1-thiol, which makes beer “skunky.”
Y’know, I sort of kind of generally know what I like in terms of how different beers taste, but I can’t swear to you I could pick my “favorite” out in any kind of blind taste test. (I’ve been to maybe a dozen wine tastings in my life, which is a dozen more than the beer tastings I’ve been to. Go figure.) So it’s good to know that the ladies of SABMiller PLC have got my back, cervisially* speaking.
*cervisially (adv.): in a way or manner of or pertaining to beer, from L. “cervisa,” beer. Now don’t say you never learned anything here.