Since it’s Halloween, we’ll talk about scary stuff. In the case of my son, this is kind of difficult. All the usual things that scare, or at least unnerve, toddlers — loud noises, large animals, politicians — he accepts with equanimity, if not enthusiasm.
But we’ve finally found the one thing that scared him: Big Mouth Billy Bass.
We got Billy as a gift to my daughter from a relative, but we’d stashed him away in hopes of slipping him into a yard sale without her noticing he was missing. No such luck; she pulled him out of the closet the other day and gave him a place of honor on the table in the den. And my son was not happy. When Billy began singing, he looked tense and anxious — and suspicious. When Billy turned his head 90 degrees to the left and began singing directly at my son, he wailed and buried his head in my shoulder.
Well, yesterday, he did, anyway. Tonight, he was not only finding Billy entertaining (heck, I found Billy entertaining the first time I heard him sing, although he got real tired real quick after that), he was actually urging me to push the button that makes Billy sing, although at first, he would not do it himself. Finally, he did, though, and with that fine sense of rhythm that only a millennium of Scottish breeding can give one, he began beating time, quite irregularly, on my thigh as he danced an approximation of a toddler with a seizure.
But never fear: We’ve still got something scary, and I like to call it “Whose Tomahawk Is Bigger?”
Sleep well … if you can. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ….