Blog on the Run: Reloaded

Wednesday, July 30, 2003 7:25 pm

Duck

Filed under: Fun — Lex @ 7:25 pm

Co-worker: [gesturing to box atop 2-drawer file cabinet to right of my L-shaped desk]: Is this new?

Me: Nah. It used to be on top of the 4-drawer file cabinet behind me. But they took that away today and gave me a 2-drawer.

Co-worker: That sucks.

Me: Nah, it’s fine. I never wanted a 4-drawer cabinet anyway. When they moved me over here from [gestures to the opposite corner of the editors’ quad] three years ago, they took away a perfectly good 2-drawer I had and gave me the 4-drawer in exchange. At the time, I suspected it was merely a manifestation of my lowly status in the newsroom. Now, I’m not so sure. Anyway, all the stuff I had in the 4-drawer fit into the 2-drawer with room to spare, and I now have a clearer range in which to throw things.

Co-worker: [glancing toward her desk, roughly 30 yards north]: Bet you couldn’t hit me.

Me: Don’t be so sure.

Co-worker:

Me: OK, do not be misled by the rotator-cuff-impaired, paunchy, middle-aged specimen you see before you. There was a time, albeit years ago, when, rolling out to my left, I could throw a football 30 yards.

Co-worker: I have no idea what that means.

Me: It means … well, never mind. It means I could throw something from here and hit you with it. Or I could when I was 17.

Co-worker: But instead of hitting me you might hit [other co-worker] or [still other co-worker].

Me: Could be. But, you know, you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. Just ask Donald Rumsfeld.

Co-worker: Well, I’m not going to dare you to do it because you’d probably do it, and I don’t want to endanger my co-workers, so I’ll just take your word for it.

Me: OK.

Co-worker: Leaving now.

Me: That’s probably for the best.

***

Man. “I’m not going to dare you to do it because you’d probably do it.” That’s an epitaph worthy of Sarah B.

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