Blog on the Run: Reloaded

Tuesday, January 27, 2004 10:44 am

Gender-specific visual disorders

Filed under: Fun — Lex @ 10:44 am

Early in our relationship, Ann posited the existence of something she called “male blindness,” which, she said, manifested itself in the typical man’s inability/unwillingness to see anything that needed fixing/cleaning/picking up/killing (e.g., arachnids). When we learned three years ago that we were going to have a boy, she prayed aloud that the disorder was not genetic.

Alas, however, her prayers have not been answered. Last night in the kitchen, she observed one of Hooper’s cloths (he uses infant drool cloths the way Linus uses a security blanket, only not as obsessively) lying, alone and forlorn, on the kitchen floor.

“Hooper,” she said, “please pick up your cloth.”

And Hooper, standing right next to the cloth, looked down at it, then looked up again and, quite sincerely, responded: “Where?”

As Mark Twain once wrote, let us draw the curtain of charity over the remainder of the scene.

* * *

Ed Cone implicitly posits a male dysfunction in depth perception, to wit: “Being a man, I’d guess that there is a good 8″ of snow on the ground, but the authorities say it’s more like 5″.”

Damn authorities. They’re probably women.


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