Blog on the Run: Reloaded

Thursday, January 15, 2004 10:23 pm

Atkins nirvana

Filed under: Woohoo! — Lex @ 10:23 pm

Frito-Lay is introducing low-carb Doritos!

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Wednesday, January 14, 2004 5:59 pm

Stop the presses

Filed under: Fun — Lex @ 5:59 pm

Which type of survivor of the impending nuclear apocalypse am I?


Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?
A Rum and Monkey joint.

You just knew, didn’t you?

Just one question: What do they mean develop a taste for blood?

Dangerous Pudd’n is in tha house

Filed under: Fun — Lex @ 12:58 pm

Find out why She-Dork picked the stage name she did for her budding rap-music career.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004 7:06 pm

Hooper and potty training

Filed under: Why, yes, I AM a bad parent. Why do you ask? — Lex @ 7:06 pm

Yeah, I COULD learn about potty training, but I'd rather take a nap.

I think this picture pretty much says it all.

(Thanks to Herb for the photo.)

Sunday, January 11, 2004 11:58 am

Do tell.

Filed under: Hooper — Lex @ 11:58 am

Hooper (playing “restaurant”): What do you want today?

Me (sniffing): I want a little boy with a clean, dry bottom.

Hooper: I sorry. We don’t have any.

Saturday, January 10, 2004 10:11 pm

And speaking of Herb …

Filed under: Housekeeping — Lex @ 10:11 pm

He just redesigned Ramblin’ Prose, so y’all go show him some love, OK?

Oh. My.

Filed under: Panthers — Lex @ 9:38 pm

Panthers 29, Rams 23, 2OT

This wasn’t just the most incredible Panthers game I have ever seen, it’s the most incredible football game I have ever seen. And in all of the football games I’ve watched, I think the only other games that have come close were the legendary Buffalo-Houston wild-card game back in the early 1990s and Miami’s 1984 Orange Bowl upset of Nebraska.

Many things amazed me about this game, but perhaps the most amazing thing to me was that the Panthers were far from perfect against a team most people were saying they’d have to play perfectly against to beat … and they beat them anyway.

Right afterward, I called Herb. “Un-freaking-believable!” he said. “It was even better because we split a bottle of wine!” Moreover, he added, Susan had predicted Bulger’s third interception just seconds before it happened.

Then Chip called.

“I need a cigarette!” he said. “And I don’t even smoke!”

I know the feeling.

Then Tony e-mailed. Tony follows college hoops much more closely than pro football in general (and the Panthers in particular), but after this game, he said, “OK, I’m a fan now.”

For the record, it was the fifth-longest NFL game ever played and only the fifth double-overtime game in the league’s history. I lost count of the lead changes after five. I lost count of the possession changes in overtime. All I know is that the right team won and that it was fitting that such a game be won not by a kicker but by a big play, a huge play, a play totally uncharacteristic of the 2003 Panthers and yet one that has lain within this team’s potential all along.

For only the second time in the franchise’s nine seasons, the Panthers go to the conference championship, against the winner of tomorrow’s Packers-Eagles game. If the Eagles win, the Panthers play there. If the Packers win, the Panthers play them at Ericsson. Either way, it should be a good game, but I’m having a hard time figuring out how it could be any better than today’s … or how my frail constitution will stand the strain if it is.

Thursday, January 8, 2004 8:12 pm

Science in the public interest

Filed under: Weird — Lex @ 8:12 pm

In case you’re whipping up the next miracle cure for … well, anything, and you’re not sure how best to set up a random, double-blind test of your concoction, here’s some advice. You should know that:

… people who take their placebos diligently do better than those who take them only occasionally; that placebo injections work better than placebo pills; that brand name placebos relieve pain better than generic placebos; and that blue placebos are better sedatives than red ones – except for Italian men, for whom the opposite is true. …[But] Germans with ulcers … respond to placebos at a rate twice that of people in the rest of the world. In fact, the placebo healing rate for ulcers in Germany is almost three times that of the Netherlands or Denmark. … In blood-pressure studies, the Germans have the lowest placebo response rate in the world.

I just figured you should know.

Glad you asked, redux

Filed under: Housekeeping — Lex @ 8:11 pm

How am I?

Phlegm: It’s not just for dinner anymore.

More public service

Filed under: Fun — Lex @ 8:02 pm

Give, give, give. That’s all I do.

How to tell a mad cow

Thanks to Valerie

I’d like to thank the Academy …

Filed under: Fun — Lex @ 6:31 pm

Blog on the Run set a new record for hits in a day yesterday, and this time it was without the help of people looking for salacious video of a certain hospitality-industry heiress. I feel redeemed.

Wednesday, January 7, 2004 6:08 pm

Dysfunctional parents

Filed under: Why, yes, I AM a bad parent. Why do you ask? — Lex @ 6:08 pm

I’m delighted to say that, compared to Mimi, neither my kids nor I know much about this subject.

… the real family-legend payoff is when your kids are sitting around the bong their freshman year of college and talking about the strange things their parents did to them. For instance, my mother once got fed up with us being all like “uhh…I don’t know” when she asked us to help her plan meals, so she made an All-Patty Dinner. Salmon patties, zucchini pancakes, and potato pancakes. Your classic suburban protein/vegetable/starch, only in futuristic dystopian disk format. And my father used to f— with me all the time, in particular by helping me prepare a contingency plan in case he was replaced by an exact-replica cyborg. We had a series of code questions and answers that could be used to determine that my dad was in fact my real flesh-and-blood dad, and all I have to say about that is I WAS FIVE! I WAS CONCERNED THAT THIS CYBORG THING WAS A REAL POSSIBILITY! JESUS, DAD!

**sighs** Memo to self: Never do this or anything like it. Because some most days the real possibilities are scary enough.

The war on terror claims another victim

Filed under: Weird — Lex @ 12:37 pm

The Australian airline Qantas will no longer let people line up for the bathrooms on its 14-hour flights to the U.S., citing security concerns.

“I wonder how they’ll organise the toilet needs of passengers,” Jill wonders. “Potties? Draw a number perhaps?”

Indeed.

Monday, January 5, 2004 6:56 am

Dude. You’re old.

Happy birthday to me.

I don’t want to insinuate that my birthday gets kinda overlooked because it follows right after the holidays or anything, but last night as we were getting ready for bed, Ann sent me downstairs for cake … for her.

I’m 44. And I’m trying not to obsess about the fact that in Guilford County Emergency Medical Services parlance, “Code 44” = “dead.”

No gifts, please. But if you would like to do something nice, send charitable contributions here, here or here.

Lex dips a toe into the “meta” of blogging, or, I’m with Nancy

Filed under: Odds 'n' ends — Lex @ 6:53 am

Nancy Nall, that is, who opines: “Stipulation the first: I am not now, nor will I ever be interested in participating in the old v. new media debate, at least as it applies to weblogs, because sooner or later everyone starts discussing Instapundit in respectful tones, and I simply cannot keep a straight face.”

UPDATE: And here’s why we cannot keep a straight face: “I’m finding it hard to blog and pay attention at the same time.”

Dude. Ya think?

Friday, January 2, 2004 5:31 pm

Glad you asked

Filed under: Ew. — Lex @ 5:31 pm

How am I?

Five words:

Phlegm: It’s what’s for dinner.

Mad Cow Disease info (one of my rare forays into public service)

While PR Watch rushes to get a paperback version of its book on the subject into print, it’s making the book available as a free *.pdf download, if you’re interested.

The hazards of metrosexuality, or, Why Lex still has a full beard

Filed under: Fun — Lex @ 5:21 pm

Because, as DongResin found out, once you fire that shaver up, it’s hard to turn it off again.

Bad ideas

I have nothing against a certain burger chain whose name sounds like a crass description of Oedipus, but I’ve noticed several flaws in its concept, all of which were driven home to me earlier this evening.

  • Noise: Even with carpeting on the floors, the acoustics in this place magnify every. Single. Sound. For cryin’ out loud, guys, hang some carpet on the walls or something.
  • Price: This is Greensboro, not New York. If I’m paying $7 for a burger, I don’t want to have to apply fixings myself. I want it done for me, correctly, the first time, and I want the burger brought to my table by an attractive young woman in tight black slacks with a firm tummy who can recommend, and supply, a good French red to accompany that burger.
  • Beverages: In this day and age, there is no excuse for not offering Dr Pepper, or a Dr Pepper-like product (e.g., Pibb, particularly when you offer a variety of other Coca-Cola products). Yeah, Cheerwine is made here in North Carolina, and I like it occasionally, but it is not an acceptable substitute.
  • Ambience: Specifically, video games. Specifically, video games, violent. What the hell are you people thinking? If you market yourself to families with kids, your clientele should not be put in the position of having to explain to its 2 1/2-year-old son that running a woman through with a spear (literally, not metaphorically, you perverts) and tossing her lifeless body over a cliff might look cool onscreen but is not, in real life, a reliable way of making a positive impression on young ladies.

The milk shakes are darned good, though.

Quote for the eons

Filed under: Fun — Lex @ 3:21 am

From Dennis Reveni: “When man invented fire, he didn’t say, ‘Hey, let’s cook,’ he said, ‘Great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark.'”

I doubt there’s a woman over the age of 9 who’d disagree.

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