Blog on the Run: Reloaded

Tuesday, February 10, 2004 12:35 pm

Dooce is a new mom …

Filed under: Woohoo! — Lex @ 12:35 pm

” … and I am full of wisdom!”

The only way to describe [breastfeeding] to a man is to suggest that he lay out his naked penis on a chopping block, place a manual stapler on the sacred helmet head, and bang in a couple hundred staples. The first two staples REALLY hurt, but after that it just becomes kinda numb, and by the 88th staple you’re like, AREN’T YOU FULL YET?? But then the comparison really fails because a man doesn’t have two penises, and after stapling the first boob the baby moves on to the other boob and the happy stapling begins ALL OVER AGAIN.

Two words: Ow. Ch.

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