Blog on the Run: Reloaded

Wednesday, July 7, 2004 8:49 pm

Trippin’, or, Who the hell is Jenny Turpish and why is she saying all these horrible things about me?

Filed under: Odds 'n' ends — Lex @ 8:49 pm

No offense to Big Arm Woman, with whom I share both a political philosophy and an alma mater, but this is the last time I am ever going to take an online quiz that she links to.

Because this thing, which is kind of like Myers-Briggs, is just wacked (my annotations in italics):

Wackiness: 14/100 (I’ll buy this; my humor is more cerebral … and corrosive. Although I love the Three Stooges or a good Warner Bros. cartoon as much as the next guy, if not more.)Rationality: 50/100 (Only 50??)

Constructiveness: 64/100 (Whoa. On what planet?? In what dimension?? Seriously. Ask anyone who knows me: My WHOLE FREAKIN’ LIFE has been about BLOWING STUFF UP, metaphorically and, in some cases, literally.)

Leadership: 54/100 (Traditionally, I’ve been the kind of leader you fear at least as much as you respect, if not more. But that’s kind of in transition. I’m trying to develop pitches besides the fast ball, so to speak; whether I’ll succeed is still open to question.)

You are an SECL– Sober (sober??) Emotional (yes, in terms of expression; no, in terms of function) Constructive (see above) Leader. This makes you a politician. (You have GOT to be kidding me.) You cut deals, you change minds, you make things happen. (Uh, one out of three ain’t bad?) You would prefer to be liked than respected, but generally people react to you with both. (In fact, generally people do NOT.) You are very sensitive to criticism, since your entire business is making people happy. (Actually, no, I’m not because my entire business, if I’m doing it right, is making some people UNhappy. In service of a larger good, but still.)

At times your commitment to the happiness of other people can cut into the happiness of you and your loved ones. This is very demanding on those close to you, who may feel neglected. (This might have been true eight or 10 years ago. Then I learned to say no. And I think this is no longer true.) Slowly, you will learn to set your own agenda–including time to yourself. (I’m already doing that, or else I wouldn’t be closing in on 1,500 blog posts in just over two years.)

You are gregarious, friendly, charming and charismatic.(When I’ve had a few drinks; sober, I’m pretty much a stiff these days.) You like animals (preferably grilled), sports, and beautiful cars. (But I wouldn’t spend money on beautiful cars. If anything, I’d spend it on an Addams Family pinball machine in good working order.) You wear understated gold jewelry (untrue; I wear one piece of understated silver jewelry when my kids haven’t broken it) and have secret bad habits, like chewing your fingers and fidgeting. (correct on both counts — well, I bite my nails, not my fingers)

You are very difficult to dislike. (No, that would be the GOOD Lex, who, so far as I know, is but a rumor.)

As I said, wacked.

Now: Two of the four attributes are close to the midpoint. If you change Sober Emotional Constructive Leader to Sober Rational Constructive Leader, then I become:

… an Ayn Rand ideal. Taggart? Roark? Galt? You are all of these. You were born to lead. You may not be particularly exciting, but you have a strange charisma–born of intellect and personal drive–that people begin to notice when they have been around you a while. You don’t like to compromise, but you recognize when you have to.

You care absolutely nothing what other people think, and this somehow attracts people to you. Treat them well, use them wisely, and ascend to your rightful rank.

Hmm. Uh, no. Well, maybe. Hell, I don’t know. The “strange” part sounds right, anyway.

If I flip the other borderline attribute, I become a Sober Emotional Constructive Follower, which, in the vocabulary of this quiz, makes me …

a hippie. You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you’ve made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.

You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don’t get mad, you get even.

Please don’t get even with this web site.

If you don’t want me to get even, then don’t call me a hippie.

But we might be getting warm here. I’m politically left-leaning only to the extent that what’s traditionally thought of as far-right has become so mainstream in the past 25 years or so: I still define myself as a conservative c. 1978, when I turned 18 and registered Republican, which is to say, low taxes, individual freedom, free markets, active but not necessarily interventionist foreign policy, limited and accountable government and so forth.

On the other hand, my lifestyle choices are indeed “decidedly temperate and chaste” now. Twenty or 25 years ago? Not so much. No, not so much at all.

“Somewhat distracted”? It’s called multi-tasking, ya moron. And the rest sounds right. Especially that part about getting even. I can nurse a grudge like Pamela Anderson can nurse a rock star.

Now, if you flip both of the borderline characteristics, you get Sober Rational Constructive Follower, or, in the quiz’s language …

a White House staffer. You are a tremendous asset to any employer, cool under pressure, productive, and a great communicator. You feel the need to right wrongs, take up slack, mediate disputes and keep the peace. This comes from a secret fear that business can’t go on without you–or worse, that it can.

If you have a weakness, it is your inability to say “no.” While your peers respect you, they find it difficult to resist taking advantage of your positive attitude and eagerness to take on work. You depend on a good manager to keep you from sinking under the weight and burning out.

Feh. Not even close. I’m not a mediator by nature; I’m the fast ball, the blunt instrument. And I know damn well that the business can go on without me.

Sigh. Well, “hippie” it is, then.

Sheesh. As Popeye would say, how embarrassking.

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