Blog on the Run: Reloaded

Saturday, September 12, 2009 11:04 pm

More proof, were more needed, that Glenn Beck has the brains of a laminate countertop

Fox News has this show host named Glenn Beck who is very popular right now. Glenn Beck hates so many things I can’t even keep track of them, and he hates them with such blazing passion that it’s kind of surprising a young intern or production assistant doesn’t have to walk on camera during his shows to wipe the spittle from his chin and the camera lens. His primary action in furtherance of these hatreds is uttering a fact-free kind of rhetoric that implies far, far more than the truth can actually support. (Not all the time. But, most of the time, yeah.)

So these guys decided to parody Beck’s approach by applying it to him. They created a Web site called, and I am not making this title up, “Glenn Beck Raped and Murdered a Young Girl in 1990.” In effect, the site’s creators say, “DID Glenn Beck rape and murder a young girl in 1990? We have no evidence that he did, but then why hasn’t he denied it?”

In other words, they’re not seriously claiming Beck is a rapist and murderer, they’re parodying his rhetorical style.

I am not a lawyer, but parody in this country has had a long history of being pretty much legally bulletproof. That fact, of course, has not stopped Beck from suing the site’s creators, thereby ensuring that many, many more people will see the site, thus making his PR problem far bigger than it already is. (And since you ask, why, yes, my blogging about this is my small contribution to that initiative.)

If we had the kind of sanctions on people who file frivolous lawsuits that a lot of legal reformers say we need, Glenn Beck would be writing a rather large check for some folks’ legal expenses right about now. Just sayin’.

I think “Element 61,” whoever he/she is, says it best: “Who could have predicted that his dangerous and extremist fear-mongering would lead to people returning the favor?”

Quasi-relatedly, fellow Fox liar Sean Hannity gets called an idiot on his own show for trying to perpetuate a variation on the “death panels” meme.


  1. The 9th commandment, “Do not bear false witness against your neighbor” (Exodus 20:16 and Deuteronomy 5:20) focuses on a specific aspect of lying, and is directly applicable to the testimony a person might give in court. Other Scripture passages focus on the general (and all-encompassing) principle: “Do not lie” or something similar (examples – Leviticus 19:11; Colossians 3:9).

    By implication, what we are supposed to do – to be truthful – is also a part of this command. Truthfulness, integrity, honesty and other similar traits are to be characteristics of our lives.

    To falsely accuse someone of raping and murdering for the sake of discussion is inexcusable and costly.

    Comment by Mike J Baron — Sunday, September 13, 2009 8:25 am @ 8:25 am

    • Mike, you’re not very bright, are you?

      Nobody is lying in the same way Glenn Beck doesn’t lie when he spins his web of fantasy about conspiracies inside the White House. He’s using his 1st Amendment right to ask questions.

      That’s all that website is doing – asking whether or not Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990? Why is he not denying it? Is Glenn Beck hiding something?

      Comment by ConcernedCitizen — Monday, September 14, 2009 10:50 am @ 10:50 am

  2. Bull, Mike.

    If the site’s creators were sincerely trying to convince people that Glenn Beck did that, then, yes, what they would be doing would be inexcusable. But, as I said in the post, that’s NOT what they’re trying to do. They’re parodying his rhetorical style — inelegantly, but effectively. Beck, on the other hand, IS sincerely trying to convince people of things he knows not to be true, unless he’s clinically delusional. If the latter is the case, he certainly deserves some sympathy, but he also deserves professional help and not a national television forum.

    Comment by Lex — Sunday, September 13, 2009 12:22 pm @ 12:22 pm

  3. Does Mike have proof that this is “false witness?” I have yet to see any kind of official denial, or any proof, that the rumor that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 isn’t true. I’m not saying that it IS true, but I haven’t seen a scintilla of proof that it ISN’T true.

    Comment by Jolly Roger — Sunday, September 13, 2009 1:03 pm @ 1:03 pm

  4. Mike – I don’t give a flying fig about what some ancient primitive people thought about the world.

    Comment by Ed — Sunday, September 13, 2009 3:16 pm @ 3:16 pm

  5. I heard that Glenn Beck lost his virginity to his mother in an outhouse while they were both drunk on Campari.

    Comment by Chris_Wilson — Sunday, September 13, 2009 4:17 pm @ 4:17 pm

  6. Ah Mike, the site is merely using the same tactics on Beck as Beck uses in his show. If this were to ‘apply’ to anyone that questions whether Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 and the fact that he has yet to deny it, then it also applies to Beck himself.

    Comment by TheCuriosity — Sunday, September 13, 2009 7:10 pm @ 7:10 pm

  7. You seen the legal response to Beck’s complaint yet? gives a brief overview; original is here:

    Comment by jane — Sunday, October 4, 2009 8:50 pm @ 8:50 pm

  8. […] } I mentioned a while ago the fantabulous Web site “Glenn Beck Raped and Murdered a Young Girl in […]

    Pingback by Now the whole world knows that Glenn Beck is an idiot … and an agency thereof has dopeslapped him accordingly. « Blog on the Run: Reloaded — Monday, October 5, 2009 10:51 pm @ 10:51 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: