Blog on the Run: Reloaded

Tuesday, February 15, 2011 8:41 pm

Writing assignment

Filed under: Fun,Hooper — Lex @ 8:41 pm
Tags: , , ,

Hooper last night completed his first-ever school assignment to write a piece of short fiction. It follows in its entirety:

One night I was getting ready for bed. I was getting my PJs on and I saw something glowing. I found a green and white egg under my bed. The egg started to move slightly. It started to crack and something came out and here’s what came out.

Out came a yellow and white creature. It started to roar and I knew right away that I would name it Receus. At the moment it sprang a yellow and white beam and left a gigantic hole right through the ceiling. Soon I thought I could do whatever I wanted with it, so we started to plan stuff.

We thought for awhile and came up with a brilliant idea. We would try to take over an underwear factory with underwear that weighed one thousand tons.  We planned it out and thought of traps and made a few. We got a driver’s license and drove to the first underwear factory. We used a giant catapult to sling an underwear and it crushed the whole building.

We started to go to other factories. Soon all the factories were destroyed. Every boy in the world already had a lot of underwear so they still had underwear. But when they wear out, they went to places with just pants. And we all lived happily ever after, even the mothers.

A few random thoughts:

  • “Spring” and its variants should be used as transitive verbs much more often.
  • Notice it doesn’t occur to him that the hole in the ceiling might constitute a problem requiring a solution.
  • Clearly the Dav Pilkey oeuvre (viz.) has been a huge influence on him.
  • He might have a future in economics; his “We got a driver’s license …” seems derived from the fabled economists’ approach to the plummeting-plane conundrum, “Assume a parachute.”
  • His grasp of physics might be limited, although, in fairness, he does not specify the material out of which is made the underwear that destroys the factory. Something dense, like depleted uranium, might just do the trick if the pair is a size XXL and is catapulted with sufficient velocity.

Finally, the desire to live life without underwear is the one aspect of the tale that brings this work close to roman à clef status. He frequently attempts to go to school without first having put on underwear and has since he got out of diapers. “There’s no room in them!” he insists. I leave it to his future bride to ascertain the truth or falsity of this claim … and to those of you with backgrounds in psychology to determine the underlying meanings. If there are any Feudians left among you, I presume that you will have a field day.

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2 Comments »

  1. Hooper seemed like he put a lot of effort into this piece of short fiction. For a first time young story teller it seems pretty descent. His story is definatly fictional and involves a change in story. Yes it is somewhat far reached, but you have to give him some credit, I mean it sounds like a cute little dinosaur creature. His obsession with underwear is also very amusing. So what if his scientific facts are off, give the kid some credit. He could have a great future in writing short stories someday, you never know. He ll get better at writing eventually, this is only his very first school assignment. It was very comical to read and the remarks to his spelling errors and use of fiction was also entertaining to read.

    Comment by Lindsey Douglas — Tuesday, March 1, 2011 1:39 am @ 1:39 am | Reply

  2. Lindsey, for whatever reason, I never saw your comment until now (12/10/11). And I’m sorry I wasn’t clear; I was quite happy with his story. My criticism was ironic. Irony sometimes has trouble squeezing through the Intertubez.

    Comment by Lex — Saturday, December 10, 2011 12:55 am @ 12:55 am | Reply


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